Chemo Brain

Well, as Day 2 of cycle 2 draws to a close, it seems like things are  (at least initially) less debilitating than the last.  The tingles are either coming down or I’m better at managing them.  Sickness is controlled with three different tablets.  The now daily anxiety attack is reducing in severity but happening within a time window of around 2 hours, so with the establishing of a pattern, there’s more evidence it’s just a side effect and not something worrying or permanent.  I even experienced a proper steroid high on day 1, which involved sitting very still whilst wishing I were at a rave or something.  I don’t particularly like raves but can now see why people bring drugs to them.

This morning, two runner friends kindly took me to a cafe and listened patiently as I proceeded to talk about cancer and death for about an hour.  I didn’t mean to, but that’s all that seems to be coming out at the moment.  I suppose that serves as a warning to anyone who attempts to engage me in conversation any time soon.  Sorry about that!

But wow – I think I know what chemo brain is.  I sat down at my computer this afternoon to get a bit of admin done whilst I had some energy.  Simple stuff like sending some handover emails I’d already drafted and setting up an ‘out of office’ – not that I’ve ever had my own office – but anyway… oh… yes! About chemo brain.  It feels really foggy, slow and distracting.  For example, five minutes of simple admin took me at least half an hour.  This isn’t just me losing mental capacity – it’s a known side effect and makes me wonder what it would be like to stand up in front of a class of 30 reluctant students and attempt to teach a maths lesson.  I wonder if the prime minster has had the same thought.  Judging by recent announcements, I suspect he hasn’t.  And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a good excuse like chemo brain.

Stay tuned to discover if the next blog is even less coherent than this one!